Draft of Persuasive Essay

Now that you have developed a thesis statement and outline for a persuasive essay, it is time to write a rough draft. 

Complete the following steps:

1. Review feedback on your thesis statement and outline you received from your classmates and instructor.
2. Compose a rough draft of your persuasive essay that includes:
   1. an introduction with a thesis statement as the last sentence,
   2. a minimum of a three-paragraph body with topic sentences, and
   3. a conclusion.
3. Revise/edit your rough draft, after rereading.
4. Post your rough draft in this discussion.

 

 

The Thesis were worked on in the previous assignment :

 

 Social media has Endangered Privacy.Thesis StatementSocial media has dramatically endangered individual privacy through data aggregation that is invasive and involuntary, facilitating identity theft and undermining the right to privacy.

Topic Sentence 1: Users of the social media platforms provided personal data to the firms without obtaining proper consent.A. Specific Evidence: Terms of service agreements could be more precise and avoid using simple language, thus preventing users from reading or even being unable to understand what is written entirely.B. Specific Evidence: Cookies placed on social media sites, as well as other tracking technologies, usually track users’ activities in a manner that is not easily discernable by the user.C. Specific Evidence: Data collected may later be sold to third parties such as advertisers, which puts users through rigorous and invasive targeted marketing and data misuse.

Topic Sentence 2: A social profile on a social media site is a desirable target for identity theft and scams.A. Specific Evidence: Many people reveal tender data like birthdays, places of living, and preferences in payment methods, thus opening the door for hackers.B. Specific Evidence: Cyber-criminals trick people on social media networks so that they are likely to give out their password or credit card details.C. Specific Evidence: When data is stolen, the culprits use it for fraudulent activities, withdraw money from a bank account, or even for blackmail.

Topic Sentence 3: Social media has the vice of limiting confidentiality and the amount of personal space people have.A. Specific Evidence: Many employers and institutions pay close attention to their employees or applicants and their activity on SM, and consequently, some make decisions about their future employment from posts made.B. Specific Evidence: Even when posts are deleted from sites once shared for some time, they become available through screenshots and cached archives, thus leaving an indelible record of themselves.C. Specific Evidence: Any buttons, like geotagging and sharing one’s location, make one vulnerable and susceptible to stalking.

Conclusion :Social media have revolutionized communication globally, but this has come with an extra cost to human privacy. It works with user data without explicit consent, supports identity theft, and violates confidentiality. Due to modern technologies, the governing bodies must enhance rules and expectations placed on social networks and their users to create and sustain a private digital identity.

 

 

Teacher comment to take in consideration before writing the draft 

“Try tweaking your thesis to make it more argumentative/persuasive.

Example:

Users of the social media platforms should be more careful with their personal data because….

Try to make your thesis statement and topic sentences a bit more in sync.

Social media has dramatically endangered individual privacy through data aggregation that is invasive and involuntary, facilitating identity theft and undermining the right to privacy.

provided personal data to the firms without obtaining proper consent.

a desirable target for identity theft and scams.limiting confidentiality and the amount of personal space people have.”